Friday, January 1, 2010

New Year's Post

Let me start by saying that I have, since I can really remember, had a hard time with holidays -- Christmas and New Years Eve are the biggies. My first impulse is to crawl under a rock (or a blanket) and watch whatever crap happens to be on TV. When I worked at a 24-hour drug store during university, I worked through the holidays; an excuse and bonus pay rolled into one! The whys of it all don't much matter, though I am working on it...

Anyway. So, even though I kinda slept through New Year's Eve, waking up long enough to see the ball drop before crawling to bed, and even though today kinda sucked, I thought I'd take a page from BSGirl, Belle, and others and look back on the past year and forward into 2010. I mean, if I keep avoiding the holidays, nothing changes, right?

Things I did in 2009 that I am proud of:
  • Decided that my wants, needs, desires, and happiness are important, and that I shouldn't be so quick to give those up or gloss over them or apologize for them. This is a work in progress.
  • Related to the above, set about finding and exercising my voice. Blogging has been part of this process; again, a work in progress.
  • Went dancing. By myself. With strangers, even. And had way, WAY more of a good time than I thought I would. And, more importantly, went back.
  • Put my nose to the grindstone on the book; didn't get as much done as I wanted to, but am a hell of a lot closer to done than I was.
  • Asked for, and got, assistance with a bunch of stuff.
  • Touched a hot, emotional element and got more than I bargained for, followed by a little burned. It's ok, though... I learned a lot. Including the difference between missing someone and missing the potential of someone.
  • Got back in touch with some old friends who I never should have lost touch with in the first place. What was I thinking???!?!?
Goals for 2010:
  • Finish. The. Damn. Book. By finished, I mean not just the Shitty First Draft, but something I can bundle off to my editor. Who is actually speaking to me again; hir life apparently took a tangent, but we're both back on each others' radar screens. Which is a relief, really.
  • Be more generous about the motivations of others.
  • Dance more. Socialize more. Smile more. Get out of my own head, and my own way, a little more.
  • Get a handle on my finances and living situation. Declutter (I may need a shovel).
  • Try to dress a little better, eat a little healthier, sleep a little more, and exercise a little more. Time to pull up my socks a bit (really, I'd prefer a miracle, but I stress-eat, so I don't want to over-do these). Re: dressing better -- I have clothes that really I shouldn't wear in public. That is saying a LOT for an archaeologist. And I need to stop wearing them in public. For realz.
  • Do something that scares me.
I don't know if 2010 will be a good year; it will certainly have good parts, but I also expect a fair pile of difficulties and unpleasantness as I work through some stuff. I can also see the other side of the pile, and it looks pretty good from here. I guess I'll just wade in :)

Edit: PS: Here's a cool New Year's Eve tradition, courtesy photographer Kyle Cassidy. Pushes all kinds of (good and interesting) buttons about transitions, liminal spaces/times, recordation, etc. In other words, my inner geek thinks it is very cool.

7 comments:

Ink said...

Congrats on 2009 and best wishes for 2010. Loved your list. :)

squadratomagico said...

I wish I could help you de-clutter! I'm really good at it -- my sister can testify to this. I ~LOVE~ getting rid of stuff: it's one of my absolute favorite things to do. 99.7% of the time, I never miss the things I get rid of.

And congratulations on the dancing, and the catching-up with old friends! Both things sound like healthy additions to your life.

Digger said...

TY both. And Squadrato~ you have no idea what you're offering! It's not quite Collyer brothers... My current hang up is finding good homes for stuff. I will have to get over that, I think! Anyone need any needlework books? Pocket knives? Old textbooks? Shipping envelopes (CD size)?

Anonymous said...

:D

squadratomagico said...

Digger, lots of stuff can go to goodwill or other thrift places. You also can put ads on Craigslist offering to give away collections of items to someone who wants to come pick them up. For large items, I usually just put 'em out by the curb with a sign that says "free," and they're usually gone quickly -- but that's not possible in every living situation.

OR: have a garage sale when the weather permits. If you price everything cheaply, I guarantee you all the stuff will go and you'll make a little $, too. You'll have a chance to chat with members of your community that you might not normally interact with, and if you prefer, you can give the $ to a charity of some kind, so you'll be even more motivated to do it.

A de-cluttered home is a de-cluttered mind, I always say!

Bavardess said...

I can relate to many of the things on your list for 2010 (especially the clothes thing - eep!).
"I learned a lot. Including the difference between missing someone and missing the potential of someone"- That wisdom is so important for long-term happiness. And some people never get there.
Here's to good things ahead!

The Bittersweet Girl said...

I'm very impressed by both lists ... and particularly the going dancing! alone! Wow, that's brave.