Sunday, December 5, 2010

Passages, Wonder, and Letting Go

My dad passed away yesterday morning. I was there, as were several of my siblings and his wife. I am so glad that I got to be there, and I'm sorry that not all of us could be. Dad always was happiest when all his kids were around. Though it was the first time I've been present when a person passed, I've been there for several pets. Being there when someone/something I love dies is, in my experience, not nearly as traumatic and horrible as I always imagine it will be.

Reverb10 entries for yesterday and today. Theme: minimalism:

December 4 – Wonder.

How did you cultivate a sense of wonder in your life this year?

(Author: Jeffrey Davis)

The tagline of my blog sums it up... out of my head and into the world. The world is actually a pretty amazing place, if you care to pay attention. Things that have made me feel wonder this year: nature; art; genuine friends; research.

December 5 – Let Go.

What (or whom) did you let go of this year? Why?

(Author: Alice Bradley)

The easy answer is that I got rid of mountains of stuff. The stuff, though, isn't really important (the fact that I was hoarding it and that I got rid of it is important; the actual physical stuff not so much). It has felt wonderful to un-burden myself of stuff I've been lugging around with me for literally decades. There's been only one thing that I wished I hadn't gotten rid of, and that wish was very fleeting.

The more complicated answer: the process of letting go emotionally for me this year has been more about transformation than about erasure. Not about forgetting about someone or a relationship, but changing my perceptions of it. Of dis-investing myself of a particular outcome or reality and accepting what is. Certainly not a fait accompli on my part, but I'm getting there.


squadratomagico said...

SOrry about your Dad. Hope it was peaceful.

Digger said...

It was. And thanks.

Terminal Degree said...

I'm sorry for your loss.

JaneB said...

Glad you managed to be there.

Clio Bluestocking said...

I'm so sorry. All of my sympathy and hugs to you.

RPS77 said...

I am very sorry to hear about your father. My mother passed away a little more than 4 years ago. I was not there, but the whole family knew that it would happen soon and everyone, including me, had many opportunities to say goodbye and time to come to terms with what was happening.

Digger said...

Thanks all, for your well-wishes.