For Your Viewing Pleasure

I'm working, I swear. Besides, these are both relevant-ish to my research. Yep, that's the story.

1. Gaga's Bad Romance a la 1919/1920 and women's suffrage. Much fun, appropriately white. (Things I Learned This Year include the effects of Jim Crow, including on voting access for non-whites. As much as I celebrate the Nineteenth Amendment, I've had to adjust my thinking, a lot. This is important stuff; why is it not part of the dominant women's rights narrative? Not entirely a rhetorical question.)





2. Angela Davis addressing students at the University of Maryland. Why we need to stop thinking exceptionalism and start thinking systemic. She speaks largely about race, but her points are equally valid for domestic violence, gun violence, hate crimes. These are not random acts.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

That there is me squealing. Not like a piggie. Not in fear of a mousie (they don't scare me anyway). But in a jump-up-and-down happy excited way.

Why?

Because I just found out, in an unofficial because it isn't in a letter from Admissions way, but from a Very Reliable Source that starting this Fall semester, I will have a new academic home as a PhD student. At my first choice school.

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

Reflections, Resolutions, and the Big Four Oh

It's my birthday. The big 4-0. I didn't post a New Year round-up/resolutions post because, well, I didn't. So I'm going to do it now, all balled up with my holy-shit-I'm-40 post. I may decide this is too much personal information, at which point I'll take it down. *shrug*

I started this blog as part of an exercise in expressing my voice. There's a backstory, of course, but the upshot was feeling that everyone elses' stuff and voices were more important than my own. That I didn't matter. Sounds bleak, and it sucked. It's not a "poor me" thing; just how it was. Some of it was taught to me by others when I didn't know better, some of it was self-imposed as survival strategies that became less effective over time, and some of it was tied up in low self-esteem issues. I was getting by, and I thought that was enough.

In my 38th year, with my eye on the Impending Forty and catalyzed by a series of events that I have a hard time passing off as merely coincidental, I had a good hard look at my life. And I didn't like it. I wanted more... to be happy, for one. To pursue my interests. To find my voice. I poked my head out of the tiny little existence I'd built for myself, and holy shit, there's a whole amazing world out there!

I made a lot of changes. Left a long term relationship. Got back into reading and researching. Cultivated a social life. Applied for grad school. Piped up and pissed a few people off. Piped up and apparently scared a few people off. Piped up and got misunderstood some. Piped up and made some new friends both in person, via email, and in blog-land. Piped up and met some great people both within my field and in others that share similar research interests (also in person, via email, and in blog-land). Started taking pictures again. Had FUN! Ups and downs -- deaths, divorce negotiations, good days and bad days, neighbors who shovel their snow behind my car, health scares.

Overall, though, life is pretty good. I laid a lot of groundwork over the past couple of years, and things are looking up.

My resolutions for 2011 and my 40th year:
- Speak up
- Speak out
- Do things that scare me
- Get out of my head and into the world

They served me well last year, so I'm dragging them out this year too. Ya gotta do what works, ya know?

First Date Jitters!

Bright and early I will be on my way to a meeting with a prospective PhD advisor. I kind of think of these meetings as "first dates" -- we meet briefly, talk about mutual interests, and all decide if we want to spend more time together.

I am not nervous about my abilities, background, interests, or anything on a professional level about this meeting. I'm actually feeling good about what I want to do, why, and why I chose this particular person to work with. But I'm nervous nonetheless!

Fortunately, I am driving up a day early, and will be able to spend some time before the meeting not too far from the U. in an area that I absolutely adore. Hopefully, the thunder storms they're calling for bugger off, and I can spend some time in the gorgeous fall outdoors doing a little hiking and a little reading without feeling like a lightning rod. (Fine, it will be reading Prospective Advisor's recent work...but I -do- find it interesting, or zie wouldn't be on my list of prospective advisors! Also a good reason for no rain: I could only get my hands on an interlibrary loan copy. Is it just me, or is it weird that the closest library with a copy to lend was very-far-away Texas?).

Still feels kinda like a first date, though. I will endeavor to return with pretty pictures, and a synopsis of the meeting.

On another note: I continue to not hate my body. And sporting equipment that was tight on me a couple of weeks ago... not so much. I cannot tell you how completely different this is for me...

Foxes, Hedgehogs, Squirrels, and A Carnival

1. Creatures.

Back at the beginning of August (holy crap, it's almost over already...) I posted about being mostly foxy with shades of hedgehog, and admitted in public to being a splitter, not a lumper. JaneB posted a comment that I find very interesting: in her field (which is, I believe, quite unrelated to mine, only a close enough relative that she was able to instruct me on the correct way to eat dirt, for which I continue to be grateful) foxes tend to be lumpers, not splitters.

I suppose that makes a certain amount of sense... when foxing from subject to subject, how CAN you be a splitter? How can you spend enough time with a subject to split it all out, rather than going "big picture" and looking at general trends? This caused me to rethink my self-imposed pigeon holes (oh! another critter...). I still say foxy with hedgehog tendencies AND still a splitter. But my splitting is at the dirt and artifacts (data) level, not at the subject-matter level.

The caretaker over at Notes From The Field ponders whether she is Fox or Hedgehog, and concludes that she is a Squirrel: "...What has become most clear to me as I look through my research notes, and find myself using things I wrote down years ago - not because they were pertinent to the project at the time, but because somehow they seemed relevant and worth keeping - is that I am neither a hedgehog or a fox. I am a squirrel. I seem to have a habit of finding useful sources and connected ideas, and putting them somewhere safe for me to go back to in the winter." I like it.

2. Carnival
Samia, over at 49 Percent, has posted the zomg grad school!!!1 carnival. It is chock full of posts about choosing and surviving grad schools. Including a guide to free food sources. I'm applying for PhD programs for Fall '11, so this came totally at a perfect time. I'm so ready to do PhD, that even lessons on how to line your pockets with ziplock bags when fresh veggie platters are on offer has not put me off.

I will post more grad school application stuff. This will likely become A Theme. Look! I gave it a tag :D

3. (Bonus) Grad School Application progress:
- tentative campus visits awaiting final scheduling. One meeting with prospective supervisor scheduled for upcoming conference.
- transcript requests completed, and wrangling of transcript request payment systems begun ("Yes, I know I need to pay online. No, the system won't work for me. Yes, my student ID number has 9 digits instead of 7. Yes, I've been out of school that long. Yes, I'll hold...)
- GRE Round 1 complete; Round 2 scheduled
- Funds secured to pay for this application process (thank you, Giant Online Auction Service)

To Do:
- Everything else.

4. (Added bonus whine and tentative victory dance):
Why chapters are HARD. But I think I have mine pegged.

A Thing I Didn't Know But Should Have...

I didn't know that Samuel Fraunces of Fraunces Tavern in New York City was black. At least, he was until he was made white in the 19th century before becoming black again recently.

This sort of manipulation of history is something I find interesting. But, it does annoy me to read the debates about Fraunces' color as debates about his ethnicity. The conflation of color and ethnicity makes me bonkers.

Musical Interlude

Still working on the project. I always forget/misremember/block out how long the editing and revision process takes. I will be damned if I lose another weekend to this monster...

So, while my brain occupies itself with sentence structure, tense agreement, the correct placement of figure and plate references, and the completeness of my bibliography, please enjoy The Distillers "Seneca Falls."



Excerpted from the lyrics:

Susan B. Anthony
Forever haunting me
Owned raped sold thrown
A woman was never her own
They cried freedom rise up for me
...
Elizabeth Cady
Forever reminding me
I don't steal the air I breathe
Freedom rise up for me

"I don't steal the air I breathe" should be on a bumper sticker or T-shirt...

An interesting juxtaposition with a blurb from Douglas' The Feminization of American Culture:

Virginia Woolf has written with extraordinary perception of a woman's constant and constantly frustrated need to have "a room of one's own." Perhaps she understood less well why women... often could not even formulate it as a goal. If a person feels, no matter whether consciously or otherwise, devalued, pushed aside, she or he craves first and foremost reassurance of her or his existence.... Given their cultural isolation, a demand for a room of their own could seem like further renunciation of an already slender claim on life, acceptance of solitary confinement. (p. 77)

I need more demanding that I'm not stealing the air I breathe, and less satisfaction with my existence merely being acknowledged. That's been part of the process of my blogging; out of the solitary confinement of my head, and into the world!!!


PS: In searching the WorldCat link for Douglas' book, I was rewarded with "Surv!ving the Fem!n!zat!on of America: How to Keep Women From Ru!n!ng Your L!fe." Sorry, asshat, no searchable or linky goodness promoting your book!

New Science Scout Badges!

Yay, the Order of Science Scouts has new badges! There are two more I can claim and add to my roster. Ok, one and a half, but I'm rounding up:

The I Have Survived Dangerously Inclement Weather in the Name of Science Badge. It comes with working outside, I suppose. No actual tornadoes, at least not in the line of work, but heat waves, hail, lightening storms, flooding, blinding snow and ice, yes, all of the above. All in cases where we really, really should have packed up and gone inside. I've gotten much more careful with my own safety now that I'm in a supervisory position. It's one thing if I do something stupid, it is quite something else if I let someone else/encourage someone else to do something stupid on my watch.

The I Have an Actual Human Skeleton in my Office Badge. I don't now, but I did. The skeletons I have around now are either real ones (from animals) or casts (from people). When I was an undergrad and a grad student, introductory physical anthropology classes were taught using real human skeletons. In some cases, they were purchased from medical supply houses; in other cases, they were archaeologically-recovered remains. In my opinion, however, there is absolutely no good reason to use real human skeletons in introductory courses. It is not respectful. And all of the skeletons used in these settings suffered damage as a result. The bones were from -people-, people! I think there is a need for exposure to real skeletal material in upper level and graduate classes, particularly when you get into the huge variations that actually exist between individuals and when dealing with pathologies and trauma, but hopefully by the time students have reached this point, they have developed a different way of being around human remains. But this also is ethically fraught, and the wishes of descent groups and living relatives must, imo, be taken into consideration, as must how the teaching will work. There is a big difference between having bones around that get dragged out for classes, and having an assemblage with which students can get important experience by helping to record and analyze.

I Am Now A Newly Minted...

American citizen.

I was expecting just my interview/citizenship test today, but the office is one of 2 in the country who swear people in the same day (surprise!). It is also the only office where I could have had my picture taken with life-size, cardboard cutouts of the Obamas. For real. Of course, I didn't have a camera... because who brings a camera past security in a Federal office building? Kind of sucks, though. I would have liked that.

For all those wondering about the citizenship test: The english proficiency portion of the test is to read a short sentence they give you, then to write a short sentence they read to you. The history/civics part is a bank of 100 questions, from which they ask you 10. You must get 6 right. Of the 100, I was pretty confident with most, and only needed to memorize 435, 1787, Wilson, and Roosevelt. I didn't need any of these, however; here are my 6 citizenship test answers:

1. Jefferson
2. Texas
3. MA, CT, NJ
4. The President
   
5. Democratic
6. Democratic and Republican

I actually kind of teared up a bit during the oath. But now? Now I'm an actual, voting, constituent of my assorted representatives. Which I will quite happily point out to them, the next time I fire off a battery of letters, either railing against some great evil, or thanking them for doing the right thing.

Seven Things...

I can handle a meme tonight, I think! Inspired by Ink and Squadratomagico, herewith are seven things I have not yet mentioned on the blog:

1. Of my father's 5 daughters, I am the shortest; but I am not short. In fact, I often feel very tall around other people... except my sisters.

2. I'm toying with the idea of possibly doing a PhD in history instead of archaeology. The job market thing doesn't worry me overly; there may be few jobs in history, but there are, I'm sure, fewer in archaeology (no, no stats to back this up at the moment!). Apart from -really- enjoying the historiography and histories I've been reading lately, the greater potential for a job and for higher earnings is tempting. I'm not sure, however, that I can emotionally handle not identifying as an archaeologist.

3. I own 4 pairs of shoes: 1 black, 1 brown, 1 sneakers, and 1 pair of dancin' shoes. I also much prefer to wear men's shoes, as I find them more comfortable and less expensive than women's shoes. Yes, I am stereotypically a woman in sensible shoes.

4. I am a huge fan of long soaks in the tub. With a book. And one foot on the hot water tap to keep from getting cold (I did say LONG soaks). Too much information? Perhaps, but what are blogs for!

5. I am terrible at picking names for pets. As a kid, I had gerbils named A and B, because I was at a loss what to name the children of parent gerbils, Charlie Brown and Lucy. I named my white mice "Mus" and "Musculus" (Mus musculus is the scientific name for house mouse). I gave the occupants of an entire 40 gallon tank of fish a single, collective name (which was not The Fish). It is probably best I've never had to (nor likely will ever have to) name a child.

6. I've seen Salvadore Dali's "Persistence of Memory" in person. It is TINY. Well, ok... it's about the size of a sheet of letter paper. But I expected something so important to be, well, bigger (Dali did do works that are almost 2 stories high; a trip to the Dali museum in Florida is well worth it).

7. I've never traveled further west than Indianapolis.

That would be 7 things!

Mary Daly 1928-2010

I just heard that Mary Daly died today, January 3, 2010*. An early report can be found here.

For all the everything that surrounded Mary Daly and her work (really, too much to even touch on here), I am grateful for her writing. Reading Gyn/Ecology was one in a cascade of recent events that has rattled me to the core and made me take a good, serious look around.

I originally titled this RIP Mary Daly; but I don't expect she'll be resting peacefully, if her life was any indication. I expect she'll continue to stir the pot, rouse the rabble, smash illusions, and pull back the curtain... just on a whole 'nother level.

[* h/t Notorious]

New Year's Post

Let me start by saying that I have, since I can really remember, had a hard time with holidays -- Christmas and New Years Eve are the biggies. My first impulse is to crawl under a rock (or a blanket) and watch whatever crap happens to be on TV. When I worked at a 24-hour drug store during university, I worked through the holidays; an excuse and bonus pay rolled into one! The whys of it all don't much matter, though I am working on it...

Anyway. So, even though I kinda slept through New Year's Eve, waking up long enough to see the ball drop before crawling to bed, and even though today kinda sucked, I thought I'd take a page from BSGirl, Belle, and others and look back on the past year and forward into 2010. I mean, if I keep avoiding the holidays, nothing changes, right?

Things I did in 2009 that I am proud of:

• Decided that my wants, needs, desires, and happiness are important, and that I shouldn't be so quick to give those up or gloss over them or apologize for them. This is a work in progress.
• Related to the above, set about finding and exercising my voice. Blogging has been part of this process; again, a work in progress.
• Went dancing. By myself. With strangers, even. And had way, WAY more of a good time than I thought I would. And, more importantly, went back.
• Put my nose to the grindstone on the book; didn't get as much done as I wanted to, but am a hell of a lot closer to done than I was.
• Asked for, and got, assistance with a bunch of stuff.
  
• Touched a hot, emotional element and got more than I bargained for, followed by a little burned. It's ok, though... I learned a lot. Including the difference between missing someone and missing the potential of someone.
• Got back in touch with some old friends who I never should have lost touch with in the first place. What was I thinking???!?!?

Goals for 2010:

• Finish. The. Damn. Book. By finished, I mean not just the Shitty First Draft, but something I can bundle off to my editor. Who is actually speaking to me again; hir life apparently took a tangent, but we're both back on each others' radar screens. Which is a relief, really.
• Be more generous about the motivations of others.
• Dance more. Socialize more. Smile more. Get out of my own head, and my own way, a little more.
• Get a handle on my finances and living situation. Declutter (I may need a shovel).
  
• Try to dress a little better, eat a little healthier, sleep a little more, and exercise a little more. Time to pull up my socks a bit (really, I'd prefer a miracle, but I stress-eat, so I don't want to over-do these). Re: dressing better -- I have clothes that really I shouldn't wear in public. That is saying a LOT for an archaeologist. And I need to stop wearing them in public. For realz.
  
• Do something that scares me.

I don't know if 2010 will be a good year; it will certainly have good parts, but I also expect a fair pile of difficulties and unpleasantness as I work through some stuff. I can also see the other side of the pile, and it looks pretty good from here. I guess I'll just wade in :)

Edit: PS: Here's a cool New Year's Eve tradition, courtesy photographer Kyle Cassidy. Pushes all kinds of (good and interesting) buttons about transitions, liminal spaces/times, recordation, etc. In other words, my inner geek thinks it is very cool.

Slave Names and Identity

I haven't posted lately; I've been up to here [waves at eyeballs] with research and fieldwork and teaching, oh my!

I stumbled across this during research for a project I'm working on. It directly contradicts the chestnut that freed slaves necessarily retained the surnames of their last owner. If this idea of agency is extended, perhaps there is no reason to believe that slaves retained their last white-bestowed given names, either.

"At that conference, C.C.Gaines, a Hudson River Valley college president, recalled that slave surnames sometimes revealed a 'mark peculiar to the person or incident to his history.' Forexample, sold slaves 'often were known by the surname of an original master who might then be dead.' Gaines commented: 'You will find many negroes to-day who do not retain the surname of their last owner, but are known by that of a remote ancestor who years ago came out of another estate. [Ex-slaves] chose such names as they pleased, and many of them observed such reasonable rules as to ancestry as naturally applied.' Gutman's research showed that 'ex-slaves put aside a final owner's surname and replaced it with either the surname of an earlier owner or the surname of a parent's or a grandparent's owner.... Sale or separation for other reasons, from a slave family of origin encouraged slaves to retain different surnames from their newowners."

From:
Quinn, Edythe Ann (2003) The Kinship System in The Hills, An African American Community inWestchester, New York, in the Mid-Nineteenth Century. IN Myra B. Young Armstead, Mighty Change, Tall Within: Black Identity in the Hudson Valley, State University of New York Press, Albany, New York, pp. 95-120. Worldcat Link.

Certainly, this makes it more challenging to trace individuals in their transition from slave to free using census data, etc. And this is something I've run into in the work I'm doing right now; earlier research assumed the family's surname was that of the patriarch's last owner. Beyond that, though, I am intrigued about the opportunity by people who are generally seen to have little control in their lives (owned, then free, but perhaps indentured; poor; etc.) to create their own identity, and by extension, that of their future families. Sure, I can go change my name at the DMV, but this was an entire group of people over a long period of time. Are there other examples where entire classes of people have the opportunity to select their own, legal names? I have more to think about this, but I find it very interesting.

I also have a post brewing about Native American slavery that you just don't hear about...