New Year's Post

Let me start by saying that I have, since I can really remember, had a hard time with holidays -- Christmas and New Years Eve are the biggies. My first impulse is to crawl under a rock (or a blanket) and watch whatever crap happens to be on TV. When I worked at a 24-hour drug store during university, I worked through the holidays; an excuse and bonus pay rolled into one! The whys of it all don't much matter, though I am working on it...

Anyway. So, even though I kinda slept through New Year's Eve, waking up long enough to see the ball drop before crawling to bed, and even though today kinda sucked, I thought I'd take a page from BSGirl, Belle, and others and look back on the past year and forward into 2010. I mean, if I keep avoiding the holidays, nothing changes, right?

Things I did in 2009 that I am proud of:

• Decided that my wants, needs, desires, and happiness are important, and that I shouldn't be so quick to give those up or gloss over them or apologize for them. This is a work in progress.
• Related to the above, set about finding and exercising my voice. Blogging has been part of this process; again, a work in progress.
• Went dancing. By myself. With strangers, even. And had way, WAY more of a good time than I thought I would. And, more importantly, went back.
• Put my nose to the grindstone on the book; didn't get as much done as I wanted to, but am a hell of a lot closer to done than I was.
• Asked for, and got, assistance with a bunch of stuff.
  
• Touched a hot, emotional element and got more than I bargained for, followed by a little burned. It's ok, though... I learned a lot. Including the difference between missing someone and missing the potential of someone.
• Got back in touch with some old friends who I never should have lost touch with in the first place. What was I thinking???!?!?

Goals for 2010:

• Finish. The. Damn. Book. By finished, I mean not just the Shitty First Draft, but something I can bundle off to my editor. Who is actually speaking to me again; hir life apparently took a tangent, but we're both back on each others' radar screens. Which is a relief, really.
• Be more generous about the motivations of others.
• Dance more. Socialize more. Smile more. Get out of my own head, and my own way, a little more.
• Get a handle on my finances and living situation. Declutter (I may need a shovel).
  
• Try to dress a little better, eat a little healthier, sleep a little more, and exercise a little more. Time to pull up my socks a bit (really, I'd prefer a miracle, but I stress-eat, so I don't want to over-do these). Re: dressing better -- I have clothes that really I shouldn't wear in public. That is saying a LOT for an archaeologist. And I need to stop wearing them in public. For realz.
  
• Do something that scares me.

I don't know if 2010 will be a good year; it will certainly have good parts, but I also expect a fair pile of difficulties and unpleasantness as I work through some stuff. I can also see the other side of the pile, and it looks pretty good from here. I guess I'll just wade in :)

Edit: PS: Here's a cool New Year's Eve tradition, courtesy photographer Kyle Cassidy. Pushes all kinds of (good and interesting) buttons about transitions, liminal spaces/times, recordation, etc. In other words, my inner geek thinks it is very cool.